Costello who is on first

Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's who? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: Who's playing first? Abbott: That's right. Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it. Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. Costello: The guy that gets Costello: Who gets the money Abbott: He does, every dollar.

Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Who's wife? Costello: The guy. Costello: How does he sign Abbott: That's how he signs it. Costello: Who? Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott: Well, don't change the players around. Costello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott: Take it easy, buddy. Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? Costello: Ok. Abbott: All right. What is on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott: Why you mentioned his name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Who's playing first. Costello: What's on first? Abbott: What's on second. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again! Abbott: All right, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott: Who is on first.

Abbott: Sure. Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott: Who's playing first. Abbott: No, What is on second. Abbott: Who's on first! Costello: Because! Abbott : Yeah. Costello : Well go ahead and tell me.

Costello : Look, you got a first baseman? Abbott : Certainly. Costello : When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott : Every dollar of it. Costello : The guy that gets the money. Costello : Who gets the money on first base? Abbott : He does, every dollar! Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello : Whose wife?

Costello : Look, all I want to know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name to the contract? Costello : The guy. Costello : How does he sign it? Costello : Who?

Abbott : Who is on first! Costello : One base at a time! Abbott : Take it easy, buddy. Costello : Okay. Abbott : Alright. Abbott : No, What is on second! Costello : Now how did I get on third base? Abbott : Well you mentioned his name. Costello : There I go, back on third again!

Abbott : Alright, what do you want to know? Abbott : Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello : What am I putting on third?! Abbott : No, What is on second. Abbott : No, Who is on first. Both : Third base! Costello: I would like to play for the St. Costello: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good catcher, Tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching.

Costello: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy up bunts the ball. Costello: Now when he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher, I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!!! Costello: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: No, you don't, you throw the ball to first base.

Costello: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it. Abbott: Now don't get excited. Now don't get excited. Abbott: All right, now don't get excited. Take it easy. Costello: Hrmmph.

Now I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is drops the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow. A triple play! Costello: Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. I don't know. He's on third, and I don't care!

All rights reserved. Filmsite: written by Tim Dirks. Search for:. Facebook Twitter Email. Costello: I love baseball. Abbott: We all love baseball. Costello: Funny names? Abbott: Nicknames. Pet names. Costello: You don't know the fella's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well then, who's playing first? Costello: I mean, the fella's name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first base.

Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: Well, what are ya asking me for? Costello: I'm asking you who's on first. Abbott: That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name? Costello: Well, go ahead and tell me. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott: Who! Costello: The first baseman. Costello: Have you got a first baseman on first? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: Then who's playing first? Abbott: Absolutely. Costello: Who is?

Costello: So who gets it. Costello: Who's wife? After all, the man earns it. Costello: Who does? Abbott: Oh, no, no. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second. Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: That's what I'm trying to find out. Abbott: Well, don't change the players around. Costello: I'm not changin' nobody. Abbott: Take it easy. Costello: What's the guy's name on first base? Abbott: What's the guy's name on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.